“Marewage…wuv, twue wuv.”


While trying to keep myself entertained while riding the bus home, I had the random thought of identifying some of the primary reasons I am excited to find that special woman to marry and spend the rest of eternity with. I make it no secret that when it comes to marriage and starting my own family, the idea makes me twitterpated, so it is without reservation I share them.

I originally attempted to put them in “top 10” format, but the last 5 were all so good, I couldn’t possibly put them in ascending order… so don’t read too much into the order in which they are listed.

  • Someon to put my arm around (and on occasion, recieve a back scratch) at church.
  • Neck massages and hot chocolate from a thermos after surfing.
  • Someone to sing to Jack Johnson with in the car (as well as other songs in other places).
  • Dinner… anything is better than cold cereal and mac & cheese.
  • Someone who will always be there for me.
  • Sex is awesome… so I’m told.
  • 4-5 little Garrett Jr.’s.
  • Someone to spoil with love and adoration, and to receive the same in return.
  • Someone to inspire me and help me become a better person.
  • A best friend to talk to and laugh with.

I’d love to hear either what you look forward to, or currently enjoy, in marriage.

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17 Responses to “Marewage…wuv, twue wuv.”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Dont be so practical in looking for somebody to fit the definition of wife. Dont be so focused on filling that need you want or presure you may be getting from others to have a wife that you over look or blow off the soul partner meant for you.

  2. Janine says:

    With 12 years behind us and eternity to look forward to…here’s what I’ve learned: If you concentrate on the negative, that’s what you’ll find. If you concentrate on the positive, that’s what you’ll find…in other words, you’ll always find what you’re looking for. I’ve learned that any, and I do mean any worthy latter day saint man and woman can make a marriage work. Everyone makes mistakes and it’s been amazing to not only go through experiences ourselves but to watch others around us overcome obstacles which seemed insurmountable. You don’t wait for the love you want, you give the love you want. It really all comes down to Christ-like love and charity. If we truly love our spouses like Christ loves, we are selfless, and that doesn’t mean we don’t know who we are, or that we are doormats, but that means that we are willing to put ourselves aside when needed for the other. Date night every Friday has been a habit that we’ve gotten into and never fallen out of. It’s important to continue to court your spouse…I get excited to get ready and “go out” we also try and get away without the four little ones at least three times a year, even if it’s just to the city (30 minutes away) for the weekend. Don’t forget to compliment each other. Each of us has our own way of feeling loved and sharing love, and we need to learn that for ourselves and our spouses and children, but everyone likes to be recognized for their hard work. Sometimes it’s hard to see that when a husband leaves for work in the morning and the house is immaculate, and he comes home it looks the exact same way, that there has been any work done, but rest assured, there has…so just say, “wow, the house looks great” and my husband is wonderful at that. On the same note, my honey works hard all day at an office to provide for our family and I try and thank him for all his efforts on behalf of our family. Lastly…and there are certainly many other things that go into a successful marriage that I have not written but this is becoming a post in and of itself, TALK! not about the kids, the days events, but you and your needs, him and his needs, really talk. If you talk like that daily, you’ll find there won’t be surprises about how anyone feels…things just won’t come up and bite you one day because you’ve both been communicating.

  3. garrettmyler says:

    Anonymous: Sir Elton John is an example of a person who is confident enough of his homosexual relationship to enjoy the same legal rights without having to call it by the same name.Also, all these judges who continuously rule against the voice of the people in favor of same-sex marriage come from what state again? Because besides the 4 judges in CA (after a quick search online) it appears state judges in Washington, New York, Maryland, and New Jersey have all upheld traditional marriage legislation. Mind you (in case you know as little about the judicial system as your lack of research would suggest), CA appellate judges (at least in 2006) ruled against same-sex marriage, before it got to the CA supreme court. So it appears the vast majority of judges (on legal grounds) favor the voice of the people, which have spoken for traditional marriage.Also, your support of judges legislating from the bench and ignoring the voice of the people, due to the fact that they went to college and passed a hard test is the scariest most anti-American statement I’ve heard yet. Our forefathers fled their homelands due to the resultant tyranny of such anti-democratic ideals. I invite you to move to such a place and to stop trying to screw with our (those of us who wish to have our own voice, and not yield it to a few educated elite) great democratic nation. It’s no wonder you hide behind anonymity.To my friends: I appreciate your support and advice. This was a fun post offering some reasons I have to be excited for marriage, not a Mary Poppin’s style checklist of everything I need perfect wife to do or be. I remember hearing a great talk by a church leader suggesting that a potential spouse need not fulfill more than 80% of your needs or “expectations”. While this isn’t the most romantic of statements, I think it helps us singles stay realistic as to looking for the “right one”. Also, know I am so grateful for the examples of the younger married couples in my extended family (including the Smiths… I will always consider you family). I have always looked up to you guys.

  4. Diane says:

    Marriage is awesome and the right person is key. I don't know if you can get all your 10 but I wish you luck. After 9 years of marriage we still eat cold cereal and mac & cheese (especially these days). My only advice is to not look so hard. Just be you and the right person will come along. I was far removed from the idea of marriage until I met Jeff – then it was all I could think about.

  5. Anonymous says:

    UK’s Civil Unions have nothing in common with the US. No National standard has been created for civil unions and that leaves gays or straights that happen to be in a civil union with 50 states with 50 differnt opinions. This leaves MANY legal instabilities with loopholes. This also traps people in those states that protect them. What if they had a job transfer from California to Arkansas? They would be screwed. Elton John is a celebrity that has no understanding of America. The judges that continuous back up gay people that many people are calling radical have alot more education and understanding of the constitution than the regular citizen including passing a legal bar. Many catholic judges had even mentioned that according to the constitution they had no legal right to ban. They had to go against their religious beliefs.

  6. garrettmyler says:

    I absolutely agree with the above comment, which is why, while I do feel marriage between man and woman is ordained of God, I do not feel this is a worthy justification for legislating it, but have instead focused on the “educated and rational” reasons for my stance in favor of prop 8. It is people like those who posted that comment who give legitimacy for people to fear that had Mitt Romney become president, he would lead soley according to his religious views, instead of what is best for all Americans, regardless of religious belief (which I am confident he would have done the latter). Thanks a lot (original commenter) for weakening the “yes on 8” public perception and feeding into the regligiou fanatic stereotype. May I suggest you not address same-sex marriage until you figure out how you justify your stance for all Americans, and not just those who feel marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God. I suggest reading my previous post on the topic.Also, I recognize I was unreasonably harsh on the first same-sex commenter. I actually really appreciate and respect your kindness, and that you actually focused on what I feel is the real issue, which is whether gays feel official, safe, or recognized. I apologize.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I voted the same way you did on Prop 8 and I do not approve of your comment to our homosexual brother. When someone posts a comment and says that they will “pray for your future marriage,” and you turn around and insult them. What the heck do you think you’re doing? Don’t you realize that this lack of love created some of the reason our temples are being targeted. My advice to you is not to address the Same-Sex Marriage issue until you fully understand both sides. Otherwise you will come off exactly like you did here. This issue is very simple. Is marriage simply a word on a piece of paper or is it a word that desribes a sacred union ordained by God? I believe it is the later, and I would sooner force someone to be baptised than to force someone to view marriage the sacred way I do. Our job during this election was to do everything we could to spread the word about Prop 8 not to go ape. Since when did the church tell us to force others to see things the way we do?BINGO: I dont understand Mormons beliefs at all. If put in the position to ban them. I NEVER would I do so. As Americas you have to vote from an educated and rational place not a spritual place.

  8. garrettmyler says:

    Anonymous: You don’t know me, and I’m sorry you can’t appreciate a light-hearted post on why I’m excited for marriage, without assuming that such a post represents everything I’m doing to better myself and prepare for marriage.Anonymous (2): Calm down. I’m amused that you feel it is the governemnt’s role in “marriage” to determine what is, and what isn’t ordained of God. Also, I’m a bit lost in your response as you did not address my point as to the apparent lack of confidence of same-sex couples who need their unions to be called by the same name, even though they have equal legal rights, but instead suggested I was “going ape” and “forcing” people to do see things as I do (I assume that would require a gun, not a blog).

  9. Logan says:

    the good thing about you garrett is that you will ask out any girl if you want to, no matter what the circumstances, ive seen it happen. granted not all of them went on second dates with you, but im sure that that kind of confidence will help you find the person that is best for you. keep it up.

  10. Anonymous says:

    I voted the same way you did on Prop 8 and I do not approve of your comment to our homosexual brother. When someone posts a comment and says that they will “pray for your future marriage,” and you turn around and insult them. What the heck do you think you’re doing? Don’t you realize that this lack of love created some of the reason our temples are being targeted. My advice to you is not to address the Same-Sex Marriage issue until you fully understand both sides. Otherwise you will come off exactly like you did here. This issue is very simple. Is marriage simply a word on a piece of paper or is it a word that desribes a sacred union ordained by God? I believe it is the later, and I would sooner force someone to be baptised than to force someone to view marriage the sacred way I do. Our job during this election was to do everything we could to spread the word about Prop 8 not to go ape. Since when did the church tell us to force others to see things the way we do?

  11. Anonymous says:

    Garrett, marriage is all about love. The first thing you need to know is the true source of love. Until you know how much you are loved by Heavenly Father you will be unable to mirror that love. I know right now you are thinking “,I know Heavenly Father Loves me.” I know you Garrett, and your cockiness plays too close to pride. Even a hint of pride shows a lack of love for others. If you really want to marry someone worthwhile, I would advise you worry less about the things YOU would like about being married. Rather focus on the type of person your eternal companion deserves.

  12. garrettmyler says:

    Anonymous: While this post is not intended to be about civil unions vs. marriage, I must comment that if a same-sex couple can’t feel their union is as “safe”, or “official” without having the title of “marriage” (which has always meant a union between a man and a woman), even though they enjoy the same legal rights (CA Family Code 297.5)… than that is a self-confidence issue that is a problem those individuals have to deal with, and should not be the burden of the public. I assume Elton John is fine with calling them by different names (as they are different) because he does not need to pretend it is the same thing in order to feel comfortable and confident in his relationship with his partner (see USA Today article).

  13. Anonymous says:

    That was very sweet. I can say its all true. I can say that I love that fact that after 20 years together I pretty much know exactly how the love of my life will react to anything. I love that his hair smells like the same shampoo after all these years. I loved watching the tears go down his face as he watched our day old infant sleep on his chest. We finally got married here in CA this summer and I can say our daily life has not changed. I guess we feel safer and more offcial and thats important. Sadly shortly after we were married many other gay couples were banned not being able to have that experience that feeling of recognition and safety. Luckily for our children our home will stay recognized. My prayers go out to those that didnt get a chance to get married and pray for your future marriage.

  14. Anonymous says:

    I just have to say your blog made me all twitterpated! I used to be scared of marriage honestly, but I am also getting excited about the prospect of finding the right person. The thing I’m most excited about is possibly being the right person… That would be super cool! One thing you seem to have down is be the right person, find the right person… in that order. I had a bit of trouble with that one for a while;)-Ruth

  15. The Tyler Nelson Family says:

    All right, you asked for comments. I’ve been married for 5 years and now have 3 kids and this is what I’ve found. Good news: pick the right person, and you’ll get all 10 of those. Bad news: As soon as you get those 4-5 little Garrett Jrs., the rest of the 9 reasons disappear. 🙂 Actually, it’s just hard to keep the other 9 reasons up after kids come, but it’s still possible no matter what anyone else tells you. You just have to work to make it happen. And the kids bring way more fun and blessings with them, anyway, so it’s all worth it. Very hard work (with or without kids) but you’re right. You get so much good that comes with the hard. You should be excited.

  16. roxann says:

    Garrett, if you will treat your future wife & before then, your girlfriend, as you want to be treated… you just MIGHT be lucky & have those very good things you want. But once selfishness comes in, those warm, good fuzzy things will start to disappear. Giving tends to lead to receiving, give all you have…once you are married ;-). You will meet her, just be worthy to be with her. I hope you get the girl of your dreams…those are realistic & really good wishes you posted!

  17. S.Shepherd says:

    Those are great things to look for in a spouse. Just be patient and that person will come along. I wasn’t looking for a person to marry when I meet David. When we met it just felt right. (he did check off my list though)

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