Last Thursday I had one of the most enjoyable dates I’ve ever had. What made it so enjoyable was that it wasn’t really a “date” at all. Instead, we ran errands…to Target, the Post Office, and the mall. After joining other friends for dinner, we finished off the night with a great conversation in her back yard and singing while she played the piano. All-in-all, the experience provided a very natural and comfortable get-to-know-you session with an interesting and enjoyable woman.
I’ve found that oft times, first dates have a manufactured and structured tone that hinders a chillax environment in which both people can get to know the “real” you. Even myself, while I’m confident with who I am, and try not to put on a front, recognizes that it’s hard for me to just be me in a formal date. Maybe it’s the subconscious pressure of providing my date with a good and entertaining time or maybe its trying to get to know my date, while also giving her a summary of myself. Whatever it is, it often feels too fake or manufactured for my liking.
So my take-away from last Thursday, along with a new-found resolve to spend more time with return sister missionaries, is to try to replace the formal “first date” model with a one-on-one hang-out. However, besides hanging at the park or pool or running errands, I’m not so sure how to go about doing this. Maybe part of it is in the way the “date” offer is extended. Your thoughts and suggestions are appreciated.